Erma Bombeck Quotes About Food
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
“I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”
“I am not a glutton—I am an explorer of food.”
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
“Never accept a drink from a urologist.”
“Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.”
“A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.”
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
“I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
“Mother’s words of wisdom: ‘Answer me! Don’t talk with food in your mouth!’”
